| 67 hari berlalu. |
[May. 15th, 2012♥06:09 am] |
Jadi, bagaimana harus kita rungkai perasaan yang terbuku ini?
Sebab kalau awak pun rasa apa yang saya rasa, Tuhan, tolong lah kami. Belum pernah saya ketemu insan yang sentiasa membuat orang lain gembira. Dan cara awak yang positif serta tawa riang awak telah menarik hati saya. 12 tahun untuk kita bertemu semula? Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone. |
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| all time low |
[Apr. 17th, 2012♥08:34 am] |
how do you get up from an all time low?
I've probably served my all time low through out the past years. Drowning mistakes after mistakes.
I watched people come and go. They rarely come and stay.
I've had my fair share of ups and downs with you, which I would like to keep them in my memories.
For that, yes, thanks for the memories.
Please remember, I never leave you.
And I'm proud to know you're doing well,
knowing what I said some time back had come true.
But right now, I'm happy and wanna remain being awesome.
I'm fighting this one little step. This one step to (hopefully) let go.
ps. just remember when u become a star (u're always one to me), don't forget to look down back to Earth. I'll be looking up to find the brightest one. =) |
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| so long. for good. |
[Apr. 9th, 2012♥03:42 am] |
Maybe, it was the best decision you've ever made.
And there's nothing more I want that to see (or know) that you're well and happy.
Because when we parted, that was all i ever wished for.
"and just to clear the air, i'd ask forgiveness for the things you blamed me for.."
i do believe u'd never return. because i knew u.
dan benci tak pernah ada dalam kamus hati saya.
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| stop. and breathe. |
[Mar. 3rd, 2012♥07:13 am] |
February was the month of love.
A discovery of just how many...
March, I promise you awesome.
How can I asked to be pursued when I am pursuing my dreams? |
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| Witchcraft & Warpath: Curse of the Black Rose |
[Jan. 25th, 2012♥09:46 am] |
bloom, bright black
in the late night,Jack
I'm the power that hold you
I'm the power that curse you
for what once was red
I bleed too much as i drown the hate
for what now turned black
no way could i turn red back
no potion can cure this addiction
no elixir is any medication
no concoction can hold the girl any longer
and the curse just gets stronger..
late night, Jack
don't hold back
take me, in overdose
curse of the black rose.
- mawarhitam; blackr0se 25 Jan 2012 |
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| Life lessons : Twenty-eleven |
[Dec. 31st, 2011♥06:21 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | 2011 | ] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  blah | ] |
However should I summarize twenty-eleven? My thoughts are all over, the words got jumbled. I can't seem to put a proper sentence.
January
Embarked on a more open-minded journey of life with friends, girlfriends and family. At this point, I can safely say I started awesome. School term started and I couldn't have been more stoked. I am always happy to start school - both to teach and play. Surprised ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1) iligeli for her 24th with a hush-hush-in-a-hurry kinda surprise.
February
Things got better. No massive hiccups. We were good, ya know.. like talking terms. Somehow I feel that my first part of the year has been nothing but a blurry vision. I can't seem to want to recall anything. Except that the Awesomes threw a surprise FB-themed party for smashita and Edot. One of my awesome parties. Whoever say anything about getting drunk?
March
Now that I look back, March was the awesomest month and many great things happened. Like, I got to meet mrTB live? Does that count? Like mrTB tweets me a birthday wish.. and Imran Ajmain too (that was random). Like hb went for Anugerah auditions. I felt like a proud mamabear. Nah, he didn't get through that far, but I believe he's cut out for something better. Far better... maybe far far better like out of this damn country? NOMB. Well, and for someone who love popping surprises to others, I actually kinda hide away from everyone on my birthday. I was actually out having my own birthday lunch at Streats, afterwhich CBDTE to write for Piala Damai and did my assignments.. Well, Awesomes came and surprised me anyways. Which I cried. Because, I really didn't think anyone would bother. (And no one can really surprise me like really surprise terkujut nak mampos kind.)
And why I always run and hide on my birthday.. cuz it's too damn near to dad's death anniversary..
April
I was devastated when I realizedI couldn't play for competition cuz it fell on my birthday.. So my April was a bore - mainly school and school. And those outings.. Like random nights out to Punggol Promenade back when it was newly built. One of the things I love or loved.. just stay the night.. talked cock and whatnots.
May
Exams. How does it feel to know that the person judging your lyrics for competition the next day is just a row away from you, also sitting for the same paper? *like tingle ma jingle* I think it was my first time getting a nomination for Best Lyrics. Granted, many powerhouses did not write, but i think it's a step forward yet also a reminder to keep working hard at it.
June
I wish I was given a better opportunity to write for the team I help to coach.... I don't really feel anything cuz i know just how the kids won't make it that far. But I'm glad we had fun. The journey has been so much fun that I wasn't bothered about the results at all. Except for my lyrics. I bother ok. How about the Glee wedding surprise we did for Aishah & Naz? AWE-FRIGGIN-SOME. And to hear my lyrics being sung, it's always a nice feeling. Although I kind of like.. forgotten I wrote for them cuz I remembered part of it I was thinking about something else. And the start of something I didn't realize that brought hb & myself apart.
July
I miss Punggol Promenade - place we hung out to find inspiration. I kind of hope hb didn't bring the girl (or other girls) there. Like, he's my person. Or was my person. We've had our silly banters and heated arguments. I miss all of those. I know I can never find someone as annoying and amazing as hb. And I had hoped that whorever hb is with know how to deal with him. The bad boy with a heart? Chicks dig that shit. But not many know how to deal with the shit. "Maybe I'll move on, or maybe I'll just stay.." This hb shit - let's write in another entry.
Yeah so Best Girl Group. I have no comment. But, watch your back.
August
Was supposed to be my favourite month. It was hard getting back to being friends. Then in a blink of an eye, everything just crumble down. Everything in the name of friendship - gone. DIE. But i was surprised because i DID NOT shed a tear with regards to hb unfriending me. Seriously. Unfriending? How childish can anyone get? Hell, I didn't even budge and launch a missile attack when I was attacked furiously by an old friend. But what was sadder, was when you read your own friends laughed along at those crude, mean jokes and remarks. I was supposed to have their backs, didn't I? Thank Allah and old friend surfaced. Though too late for confessions like Oprah moments, I'm glad he let it out. My so-called Mokhsin. And the result of it all: poor grades for my assignments. Lesson learnt the hard way.
September
Like was good because I was positive and still am. I kept my head held high and ignore alot of damn things. Eid came and went. Not much of anything interesting. More heartbreaking than ever. But hey, I get to fangirl. I was starstruck again.
October
Prep for comp and exams. The start of my "talking to the moon" phase. Life is a metaphor. Metaphors are important to me. And I see hb as both my star and moon. Pretty much self-explanatory ain't it? And something to add on to the pressure - planning for an event like Anugerah Dikir. And another surprise, this time for K.A's 28th.
November
Craziest month ever. snh0911's surprise - did music video that was silly yet crazy fun, Anugerah Dikir, exam and PRP. All in a span of 2 weeks. I was dead beat I missed my job interview. And I started a new job.
December
Another opportunity to plan an event - deksu's Gleek Out Chalet. The joy in planning.. I should be an event planner instead eyy? It went awesome. After 3 months still no job openings. But I might just have grown attached to being call centre agent. My first and last breakkie session with fellow agents. Who would have thought I would gain any friends at all considering I had planned to not make any friends. -.- One of my BFFs surprised me with a Longchamp coin pouch. Boy, was I really really surprise. Which made me kind of miss the other BFFs.
"So that's what you missed in twenty-eleven!"
I'm more than ready to bid twenty-eleven goodbye. Life's been tough. But I'm good, I'm awesome. |
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| I don't forget you. |
[Dec. 18th, 2011♥11:51 pm] |
If you had been around, you'd be 60 this year.
If you had been around, I could finally be your favourite daughter.
If you had been around, my life coulda been better.
Dad,
we may not have the most affectionate bond. But I do love you. But Allah decided to take you away from me. Nevertheless, I know Allah must have had His reasons....
So, happy 60th birthday, Dad!
Alfatehah. |
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| Ombak Rindu. |
[Dec. 16th, 2011♥09:24 am] |
Maafkan saya, kerana merindu.
Saya pinta padaNya agar hati dapat melupakan.
Sebab saya tak mampu nak tanggung beban rindu.
Saya tak mampu hanya dapat lihat kelibat bayangan.
"Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia
Untuk terima ku seadanya..."
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disappointed