| BAML. |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009♥10:28 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | baml | ] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | Hearing Aid |
| | broken hearted girl | ] |
Yes. Thank god. I'm accepted for July2010 intake instead.
but i'll have to source out for study loans or fucking FAS.or i'll have to forget about studying. it's no money, no study.
p/s: yes SNH, you know I owe you a treat when I start my job again.
pps: and that was all. |
|
|
| Lull me to sleep |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009♥03:44 am] |
You still make my heart skip a beat.
Armed with Sweet Asleep,i will try to sleep.
P/s:barely 24hours. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 30th, 2009♥02:44 am] |
| [ | Location |
| | hall. | ] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  gloomy | ] |
| [ | Hearing Aid |
| | dari sinar mata -tfc | ] |
Dear God,
Could you please relieve Dad of his illness? It's hard to comprehend what he is trying to say. It gets harder when Dad gets all work out and grouchy. He gets so agitated when we can't seem to understand what he is talking about. It is sad to see his condition like that. He wakes Mom up every other hour and complains this and that. He can hardly sleep or pass motion. He insists Mom do what he says. And he gets weaker because of water retention causing him difficulty in moving around.
Just a moment ago, Dad complains about his nose. He feels like his nose was stuffed. But why is he saying "kacau" (disturb)? Rub his nose with towel, wash it countless of times. And kept saying "kacau". I really don't know what he wants to convey to us.
No I am not complaining. Mom never complains. And I know how hard it is to care for him. Yet, I can only do so much.
Dad, I love you. |
|
|
| I'm not single. |
[Nov. 27th, 2009♥10:43 pm] |
|
Just as Rindu Raudhah got my tears triggered, now i'm watching I'm Not Single. Farid Kamil + Awal Ashari. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 26th, 2009♥06:48 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | weddings | ] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | Hearing Aid |
| | i belong to you // muse | ] |
I have a love-hate relationship with weddings.
I love looking at decors, tasting food and delicacies, watching performances and simply being pretty.
I hate it when some uncles or aunties mistook me for my sisters who are already married, or simply have to ask that same old questions like "bila awak punya turn?". And most times weddings can be pretty draggy.
Once in awhile, it's really ok.
P/s: New Moon is already out on sneak previews. Wish someone would wanna catch it with me. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 26th, 2009♥12:32 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | pieces, random | ] |
| [ | Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Hearing Aid |
| | russian roulette | ] |
Either way, it's my bad. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 24th, 2009♥03:31 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | rants | ] |
| [ | Feeling |
| | gloomy | ] |
| [ | Hearing Aid |
| | ordinary people | ] |
51 months back, everything seems too perfect.
51 months later, i'm learning to accept facts and embracing all the imperfections of my personal brand of heroin.
i've been trying to say this without being given the f-off attitude. ily. |
|
|
| TAPI NI GORGEOUS! |
[Nov. 22nd, 2009♥03:25 am] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Hearing Aid |
| | glory glory man utd! | ] |
Just gorgeous la! I is loving KateSpade. But I is also loving that LePliage in Bilberry! |
|
|
| i won't let you be denied. |
[Nov. 22nd, 2009♥02:55 am] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  mosquito bites. | ] |
You may be a sinner
But your innocence is mine.
so let me reconcile the violence in your heart, and satisfy the undisclosed desires. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 20th, 2009♥03:09 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | rants, speak up! | ] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | Hearing Aid |
| | Starstrukk // 3Oh!3 ft Katy Perry | ] |
After I stopped writing in my diary in January, I started to write again. I know I can't take another blow, should it happen to me again. I just want to record things I know impossible to be blogged. Because in virtual world, we trust no one. I want to pen down again, so someday later in years to come, I will remember, I will reminisce. I will laugh, I will cry. Like I did, just now.
A plethora of emotions. BF once told me I change my mood too fast. I'm easily affected by the surroundings. Sometimes, when I'm happy, anybody, just anyone, can affect my mood. Either to kill it, or to enhance it. I'd feel sorry for those who were down when I'm happy. I'd be annoyed with those who's angry. Sometimes, people think it's mood swing. I thought so too. Until I read an article in Cleo November 2009 issue: The Angst Epidemic. How the negative vibes gets to those around you. It was an eye opener. It made me aware of the people around, as I was once (and still) oblivious to.
I'm not a hard one to please. Really. Some people think I'm hard to please. I just need someone to humour me. Or hug me. When I'm down. I'll be fine. I always always thought I'm strong. But I'm pretty much convinced at how weak I am. How I cry too easily. Others cry, I can cry.
At this point of time, at this point of time when I fear losing those I love most, I must learn to break open the little bubble surrounding me. I want people to get to know me, as much as I want to get to know them. Because I know and I'm aware of my facial expressions. I'm much aware of how fierce or intimidating I may look. For some reasons, using the reason SHY doesn't work. Because people refused to believe I am shy. I'm shy because naturally I don't want people to run away. I don't wanna hurt them. I have a foul mouth; it's a bitch. But for the love of God, I am nice.
So, pardon me if I forget to say Hi! first. Just remind me, I forget to smile today. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2009♥05:16 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | random | ] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  ditzy | ] |
I miss my bf taking silly poses of me or simply just be his subject of photography. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2009♥02:23 am] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  cranky | ] |
| [ | Hearing Aid |
| | i wanna know what love is // mariah carey | ] |
when a girl cries because she's hurt, where exactly should she run to? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2009♥01:40 am] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | Hearing Aid |
| | light on // david cook | ] |
I always feel butterflies doing somersaults in my tummy every time I hear your voice at the end of the line. |
|
|
| Perigi buta |
[Nov. 14th, 2009♥04:27 am] |
Kejauhan malam menggangguku
Di jendela kusingkap sekali lagi,
Rintik hujan membasahi bumi
Rintik hujan menitik, berlagu titis demi titis
Berlawan tempo dengan cengkerik
Sekali sekala terdengar deru enjin mobil yang lalu
Segar.
Segar-bugar mata ini.
Telah kucuba lelapkan, namun tak terdaya
Pasang mata ini enggan didodoi lena.
Tik-tok...tik-tok...tik-tok..tik-tok..
Jam empat pagi
Masih segar mata ini
Apa yang aku nanti?
Mengapa enggan tidur lagi?
Celaru!!
Celaru otak aku!
Sepi yang aman bikin aku buntu
Kala ribut dalam hati..riuh!
Ada satu perasaan halus dalam hati
Yang ingin berbisik tentang kegundahan ini
Aku tak pasti
Resah yang mencengkam sanubari
Seperti menggamit setiap rasa yang aku simpan untuk kuluah suatu hari
Suatu hari yang kusimpan hanya untuk sang kasih
Ingin sahaja aku berlari...
Pada perigi buta yang sedang menanti
Ingin sahaja aku teriak
Meluahkan rasa amuk yang membuak-buak
Kerana hanya sang perigi yang sanggup menahan pedihnya amarahku
Amarah yang tak tertuju pada sesiapa.
Hanya aku dan mataku.
Yang masih enggan masuk beradu.
Dan untuk kamu,
hanya satu.
Aku rindu.
Adakah sang perigi penuh takungan air hujan malam ini?
|
|
|
| rAIN |
[Nov. 14th, 2009♥03:28 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | rants | ] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | Hearing Aid |
| | the rain | ] |
It is still pouring outside, as if it's snowing now. I wish. The smell of the rain, the sounds the rain made, reminded me of those times at Trikora. A good warm snuggle is good when it gets chilly.
Here I am. Insomniac.
Will you appear by my side, snuggle close to me and let me drift to sleep? |
|
|
| R.I.P |
[Nov. 12th, 2009♥01:26 am] |
First, my lappy of 5 years died on me.
Now, my pc died on me.
So how? How to do my work?
=(
Anyone knows where to trade in my old lappy? It's HP Pavillion 1000 .
|
|
|
| I am not a shithole. |
[Nov. 9th, 2009♥03:33 am] |
Well so, thank God everything's over. With a hell lot of other things still on my mind.
Subconciously, I tend to burden myself with multiple load of problems. I love responsibility. I love to be given responsibility. Being me who rarely say no, I tend to acknowledge responsibilities.Subconsciously. And when I neglected a certain responsibility, only then I realized I do have one. Only to realize I failed to prove something. Only then, I bother to be aware of my surrounding.
Yes, as much as I used to be pretty observant last time, I am more oblivious now. Oblivious to the world. Whatever the world is doing, whether the world is looking into my life; taking a sneak preview of my rundown messy soul. Yes, I am bothered by the words. Really bothered. Because I didn't notice anything of the sort going on in me. I take those words with no hard feelings. But I know, eversince the yesteryears of NNT, I don't sync with P.G. I don't gain anything from P.G. But it's okay. We human tend to look from the surface.
We humans tend to forget, how human we can be. We forget that we only have 24hours a day. We forget that the world is looking at us from various angles. We forget that our lives are being portrayed to the world. By every seconds. We forget many things because our subconscious minds want us to.
So much for the advancement in technology - netbooks, iphones, desktops, whatnots. But we all forget about COMMUNICATION. All of us, good or bad relationships, friendships, siblings, sisterhood, buddies, . We neglected a simple "Hi, how are you?". We didn't even replace our lack of communication with a sincere smile.
So, in the end, I don't really prove anything.Sadly.
Tepuk dada, tanya jiwa.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
mawarhitam's journal
calm
disappointed
worried
infuriated
drained